RUNNING AND LIVING

Thanks so much for your comments to my last post. I am so lucky to have such smart and perceptive and encouraging readers!

I have been thinking EVEN more about my training and racing strategy. I have mentioned this before, but I think we approach training and racing similarly to how we approach life. At least this is what I seem to be doing. I have a cautious personality. You may not guess that since I came to the US at the ripe age of 20, with 2 large bags and no clear idea as to how I could find my way into some scholarships and finish school. But, you would surely guess that if you looked at my retirement account, which is way, way too conservative. I have also always been a bit of a nerd. I have always overprepared for exams, read everything or as close to everything, and genuinely liked the process of school. I have never taken a test unprepared, never "pulled an all nighter" and can't remember ever failing at something that I chose to do (probably because I chose things that I knew I could do well).

I took these personality characteristics and tendencies into my training and racing. I am cautious when I race. I overprepare, read everything I get my hands on that is running related, and genuinely like training. I am growing to love racing, but the truth is, races are like tests for me still. I like the process of training (or taking the test), but not the pressure of doing well (which I still feel). I like best being able to say that I have raced, and the excitement surrounding my future races.

I believe in personal growth. I also believe in acceptance (which I don't equate with giving up). I believe it is important to be comfortable with who you are, with your quirks and overall personality style. So I may lose some money long term bc I choose a conservative retirement account. So I ran a 3:29 when I could have ran a 3:20. And maybe I can run faster than a 3:20. But the truth is, maybe doing things differently would disturb the balance I have right now. My cautious personality likes to train harder than my plan, because I like the extra cushion in case of bad weather, or who knows what on race day. Perhaps this extra cushion helps me sleep the night before a race, and run confidently. Perhaps that extra cushion would allow me to push harder should I feel like I am having a spectacular day. Who knows?

I think a lot of time we tend to push ourselves toward perfection: as parents, as runners, as partners, etc. We also try to mold ourselves into these roles, rather than change the roles based on our personality. I am all for pushing limits, personal growth, and becoming the best one can be. But that needs to be balanced with being comfortable with one's self at any moment in time.

I also think that it is easy to become impatient, at least when it comes to getting faster. I have certainly experienced that impatience when coming back after an injury. However, as much as I like getting faster right now, I know that with every marathon I am getting closer to my athletic limit. I still believe that I am eventually going to be able to run a sub 3 marathon, and perhaps sometimes I dream of even more than that. But the truth is, if I could wave a magic wand and be able to run a sub 3 in Boston, I would not choose that. I like the small improvement increments that come after months of hard work. I am not sure whether I would be able to race if I stopped seeing improvements. So for now, I really like to take my time and enjoy the journey.