22 miler

This morning I ran again in New Hampshire. We are at my in laws' house dogsitting (aka walking Luke a couple of times a day, eating yummy food, and overdosing on the tennis channel). Chris and I had a late night - when you don't allow yourself to have cable for fear of watching too much TV (hm, Chris) you have to catch up on all the episodes of Mad Man that you missed. Everyone slept late, so when Mr Petru came into our room shouting "It's wake up time" it was 7:45am. I was not worried, though, because it's Fall weather, yay. Plus, the boys had a plan to spend the entire morning at the Children's Museum and the toy stores in town. Love 'em.

I started my run at 8:45, after a double serving of oatmeal and a small coffee (the only downside of being at my in laws is that they drink half caf coffee....and I forgot to bring my own). I packed water, Nuun, and ....Chocolate # 9 gel, the product of my next giveaway (to be posted on Monday). The plan was complex: 1) run 22 miles, 2) run negative splits, 3) run the last 4 miles at MP, 4) run 8:15 average pace as opposed to 8:30, as my training plan suggested, 5) suffer, 6) suffer some more, 7) take risks by getting on pace early on, and 8) use the chocolate Nr. 9 gels.

It was cool, gray and rainy in New Hamshire today. I was actually happy about that. The first few miles were rough. It's tough mentally and physically to start a run on heavy legs. I did not allow myself to recover properly after the 1/2 last week, and ended up running all my key workouts as planned (speed) or faster (tempo). I reminded myself that the goal was to suffer, and plugged along. I had a couple of podcasts prepared, and they kept me entertained for the first 10 miles. The initial plan was to run 10 miles out, 10 miles back, and then add 2 more miles. But when I got to mile 10 I knew that there was no way I would add the 2 miles at the end. Legs were already in too much pain. So, I ended up turning back at 11 miles, which guaranteed that I would run, walk or crawl 11 miles back. I stopped at mile 12 for water, and switched to listening to music. When I get tired my eyes start to be fixated on the watch, which makes for a slooow run. This time, I did not allow myself to look at the watch except at the end of each song. This worked very well, and helped me pick up the pace, in spite of a horrible headwind after the turn around. The music helped, the scenary was beautiful, and people were turning their heads watching the mad woman running in the crazy rainy and windy weather. Loved that.

I did achieve all my goals. The run was seriously painful. My legs are still heavy, even after the icebath. Yet it was an awesome run: 22 miles 8:10, with miles 19 and 20 @ 8, mile 21 @ 7:53, mile 22 @ 7:48.

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Please check back for a review of the Chocolate #9 energy gel, and the Chocolate #9 giveaway.

The other element of mental

If you haven't already, go to Nitmos and read his post on mental training. His post and my mental battles during my race last weekend, got me thinking.... Bear with me.

Until now, I considered mental toughness to be defined as ability to push through pain without giving up. I've got that. In the bank. In fact, I think I only ran one race (out of, like, over 30) when I slowed down toward the end, and that was after Boston, on tired legs. I expect pain during the last 3 miles of a 1/2, and the last 6 of a marathon. I am not surprised if I puke at the track (I often did this summer, I habituated). I can deal with that. I've devoured Matt Fitzegerald's book on mental training, and have used the strategies he suggests. I visualize a race over and over, I imagine myself wanting to slow down, and plan how to deal with the demons of a fatigued mind.

However, there is another element of mental training that I think gets ignored. It's confidence. It's self efficacy as a runner. It's fearlessness. It's the ability to go out hard without worrying that you are going to crash and burn. It's not fearing the unknown, and believing that you can deal with whatever comes during the last few miles of a race. This is what I don't have. This is what I need to develop. I am cautious and I like control (who does not). I follow a training plan and run the paces that my plan tells me to hit. And I do. Always. I train for races with a goal pace in mind. That goal is often too cautious, I think. I almost always get a PR, because I train for a faster and faster pace, but I never give it my all until I am close to the finish line.

I think it is easier to be fearless at a younger age. The 19 years old version of myself came to the US alone and made herself a pretty good life. That takes guts. But then something happens to us in our 30s. We start to become cautious. Family, work, kids, there is so much to lose. For me, this translates into running. I no longer take huge risks in life, and I don't take them in running either. However, while taking huge risks in my personal life no longer interests me - I feel challenged, I feel fulfilled, I like my life and really have the ability to do whatever I chose to - I would love to be able to take risks in running, to experience it, to learn about myself, about my reactions, about how tough I really am. I don't have a plan for now, and I will certainly won't take a huge risk during the marathon. I think my brain is still digesting this idea. I certainly hope that when I see a 7:30 or lower pace on my watch during my next 1/2 marathon, I won't feel intimidated by it and won't feel the need to slow down "just in case". Until then, I am going to start looking at my Garmin less and less in training....hopefully I'll discover, like I did today, that I end up running my tempos much faster than planned, with the same perceived effort.

09 - 09 - 09 Happy Birthday to ME

I though I could celebrate today by running or biking my age in miles. Well, 36 (yikes!) miles is a lot, and so I ended up doing a combo of running and biking, for a total of 1hour and 36 minutes. Good enough! My legs are finally back in business, phew. After Sunday's race I biked and swam on Monday (thank you, Labor Day), and did my run on Tuesday. I left the house thinking that I am NOT going to do the 3.5 miles of speedwork, but then somehow my legs took me to the track. Once there, I planned on NOT doing the intervals at the speed called by my training plan, but somehow my legs had a different idea (1000m @ 6:36, 2000m @ 6:40, 1000m@ 6:33, 1000m @ 6:30...oops). I ended up running 9.75 miles including speed, and took an extra cold and long ice bath. Legs were sore after the run. The roller did not work well enough on my hamstrings, but the tennis ball did. Wow, that tennis ball knows how to torture one's hamstrings. If you have not tried it, please do; it is painful, but it helps a lot if you have tight spots that the roller can't get to. I thought about running another race this training cycle, but I think I am going to stick to marathon paced runs - I would love to do at least a 15 miler at MP. Will see.

So back to the birthday. It was nice and simple - funny card that my son picked (I am thinking he has a future in comedy), flowers and more flowers, CDs, subscription to triathlete magazine, biking shoes and pedals (yay!). Our neighbours surprised me by taking Petru over this evening so that Chris and I could have dinner out. Sweet. We all had chocolate cake with peanut brittle icecream, YUM! A good day. I am already looking forward to my tempo run tomorrow. It seems I can't get enough of this running thing!

Swanzey Half Marathon Race Report -A PR and a lesson on mental training

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while are aware that my race reports tend to be long. Since I love all my readers, I am giving you two versions of the race report

Short version:
Perfect weather conditions, hilly course, well organized race
Gun time: 13.1, 1:39:51, 7:37 pace, 5th overall, 1st age group 30-39.
Garmin time: 13.2, 1:39:39, 7:33 pace.
Yay, PR by 3 minutes and change...

I would like to thank the weather Gods for giving me such a beautiful running day, my mom in law for taking over the little guy, and Chris for being my supporter extraordinaire.....

Long report:
Chris and I did the drive from New Castle, NH (my mom in law's house) to Swanzey, NH on Saturday afternoon. Having grown up in a small country, I still need to mentally remind myself that if a race is in NH, it does not mean it is going to be close to my mom in law's house. We got there in about 2 hours, grabbed some lunch and found a hotel room right in Swanzey. Since we got there so late and it was dark outside, I did not have a chance to drive the race course. I was later thankful for that.

I had mixed feelings about this race. I did not taper for it (I actually ran a pretty fast 12 miler on Wednesday), and had been sick the entire week. There was also the mental part - more on this later - and I did not truly believe that I could run a 7:40 pace, which was what I was hoping for. The night before the race I was feeling great, so I told myself to just go for it, and see whether training for a 3:30 marathon is realistic, based on the 1/2 marathon time finish.

Since the race was so close to the hotel, we slept in (til 7:00am). I made my oatmeal in the microwave and Chris went out to get some gas station coffee, which we both deemed to be way better than Dunkin Donuts, the other available choice. We got to the race around 8:00am, and chatted with some runners about the looooooong line to pick up the packet. I also heard that there are hills, rolling hills on the race course, nothing too steep, though. Hm, that's not what I read on the website... I did a 1.5 mile warm up (I am learning about how important warming up before a race is), said good bye to Chris, and went to the start. Although we did have timing chips, there was no timing mat at the start, which meant that we would all go by gun time. The race was pretty small, so I positioned myself around the middle of the pack.

Miles 1-2 "Are you crazy, slow down!"
Although I tried hard not to start too fast, I failed. Mile 1 was 6:45, after which I worked super hard to get on pace - 7:40 at that point. Not such luck. We went under the first Covered Bridge around 1.9 miles, and somehow my GPS got screwed up because in a matter of 100 feet my pace went up to 7:48.

Miles 2-5 "Just keep up the pace!"
By mile 2.5 I was down to 7:40, and planned to stay there. We started mile 2 on a trail, which was very muddy, with many pot holes. That helped me keep my pace down. Then we ran on sand for a while; I had never ran on sand before, but that was tough. By mile 5 I was running with a group of guys, and there was no woman in site. I knew that there were some ahead of me, but there were none in my site.

Mile 5-8 "Where did they come from" and "There is no way you can keep up this pace"
At mile 6, all of a sudden, I got passed by a group of 3 girls in their 20s. In retrospect, that was what I needed, a little competition. We all started running faster, so that by mile 7 we were at a 7:35 average. And that's when I freaked out a bit. 7:35 is fast. Although my legs felt great, by brain was not comfortable with such a fast pace so early on. I panicked a little - what should I do? Then I remembered that part of the race plan was to suffer. I was not suffering, so I decided to ignore the watch and see what happens.

Mile 9-11 "Darn hills! Keep going legs!Stay in the mile you are in!"
At mile 9 it was only me and one of the 20 y old girls. The other two were trailing back. She was still in front of me, and I was gauging my pace by hers. Legs started to burn a bit - this is what typically happens to me, I never get out of breath, it's the legs that start complaining and make me slow down - but nothing too concerning. At this point I decided I was going to listen to each song on my playlist and not look at the pace or distance on my Garmin until the song is over. This was a great strategy and made the miles go by quickly. I also decided not to think about how much more I have to run, but to stay in the mile I was in. That worked well, too.

Mile 11-12 "See you 20 y old! I can do this! I feel great"
By mile 12 I passed the 20 something year old girl, while thanking her for running such a great race. My legs got a second wind after mile 11. I am not sure what happened. Was it Madonna's "Holiday" on my I-pod, and memories of my 17 y old self watching her videos and dancing along? Was it the risk I took passing HARD and FAST the 20 y old girl in front of me? Was it that I could smell the finish line? Was it that my brain was getting used to the pace? Whatever it was, I was feeling great.

Mile 12-13. 3 "Go, go, go"
I started going faster. I stopped looking at the watch. I started focusing on passing more people. I saw Chris at mile 12.5 and he cheered on. I saw the finish line around 12.9 and I went into an all out sprint. I saw the clock showing 1:39:30 and sprinted even faster. I crossed the finish line at 1:39: 39, gagged a few times (but did not puke, yay!) and looked around for a chair to prop myself onto. I typically get dizzy when stopping quickly after a run.

Summary:
1)Great race overall.
2) I think I might have broken a mental barrier here. For my next race, I am going to try to get my brain used to a range of paces, including some that might seem unrealistic for me.
3) I also think I may need to start racing without the Garmin.
4) I am a bit too cautious. I think I could have gone faster than I did today, had I not slowed myself down in the beginning miles. I was lucky with the 20 something woman who actually helped me by going faster than I had planned to go.
5) Sometimes it is better NOT to know the race course. I would have not raced as well had I known about the hills.
6) I need to run a few races with the sole goal of "suffering" rather than having a PR. I think part of me is scared of suffering during a race. It will be key to get over that.

Bullet points

1. The cooler weather is playing with my confidence; I am running fast and comfortable. The speed work this week, 4.5 miles of it (6X1200) were ran @ 6:34-6:36 pace, with no leg heaviness or shortness of breath; and how's no puking for a change? The MP run today turned into a tempo, 12 miles with 10@ 7:42. I started out at 7:55 average, and ran the last 5 miles progressively faster. Legs felt great.

2. I am officially running a 1/2 marathon this Sunday. With no taper, of course. I am not sure what to expect, aside from running under 6 covered bridges, a fairly flat course with some rolling hills. Will let you know.

3. Does anyone feel that summer has gone by too quickly?

4. The groin pain is completely gone. Not sure what that was about but it freaked me out and made me super aware of my R hip for a couple of days...

5. Although training for Baystate is going well, I don't have the fire I had when training for Boston. That may change IF we decide to go for nr 2....this might be the last time I run a marathon (for time) for a while...can you tell I am not that excited? The idea of a surrogate is oh so appealing...

6. Did I mention that taper for Baystate starts 3 weeks from Monday? Only 2 20 milers to go....so sad!

Best 20 miler

I had an awesome 20 miler yesterday. Katie and I met at 7am. It was raining, but cooler, so I was happy. The plan was to run 20@ 8:30, but I was secretly hoping to go under 8:24, which was what I did during my last 20 miler. As I mentioned before, Katie is super fast, so I had no idea how things would go. Would we start out too fast and I would ....die at the end. I have always been the "fastest" in the group, trying to accomodate others, so I was excited to see how it feels to run with someone faster than me. I was prepared for some suffering and pushing through.

We started out @ 8:24 on the slight uphill of the Minuteman bike path. The path is actually flat, but I know it so well that I am aware and can feel all the slight uphills and downhills. It was so great to chat our way through the miles. It reminded me of my Boston training runs with the Sue(s) and how much fun we had running in all kinds of weather. Aside from a 2 mile stretch with some groin pain (and lots of thoughts about stress fracture) that mysteriously went away after I switched to the other side of the path, I felt awesome. I even took a chocolate GU to see if my stomach could handle it, and all was well. With 1.5 miles to go, we both picked up the pace. It did not really feel like we were going faster (I was still feeling great), but we were. We stopped at 20 miles, for an average of 8:18, with the last 1.5 miles @ 7:28, ran progressively faster so that the last 200m were at 6:43 (thank you Garmin!). Wow! I have never finished a long run feeling so good, and able to keep going. I could have easily finished a marathon at that pace today.

The run ended up being a 21 miler for me, since I ran .5 miles to meet Katie, and than .5 miles home (the last .5 miles were more of a walk/run; once I stop running, it's really hard for me to start running again). My groin felt tight yesterday, but I hope it is going to be fine. I did my standard test for a stress fracture - jumping on one leg - and past it. My legs were a bit stiff yesterday, but is better today, so I am hoping no damage has been done. I am at the point in my training where I am going faster, way faster than what my training plan tells me, and I need to be careful about that so that I don't get injured. Getting faster is such an addiction...

Help from music

Yesterday I had a 4 mile recovery run followed by a 15 mile bike ride. I typically take the run as easy as I can, and do a few pick ups on the bike. We had nice and cool weather yesterday, so nice and cool that I wished it had been Saturday and I was doing my long run... My husband joined me for the bike ride on his $100 bike, no helmet, jean shorts, Tevas...He is the antigear guy while I am the gear queen.

I am getting more and more confident on the bike. I don't slow down at the many turns on the bike paths, I can drink without slowing down, I can bike without hands for a few seconds if I want to switch bottles, etc. However, I am still terrified of going fast downhill. From my house, there are 2 huge hills that I need to go down on (and up on the way back, but I don't have a problem with that). My husband just flies over those hills, while I...brake my way down while pushing away images of the bike rolling up side down in the air.

The ride was fabulous. Chris and I always have the best conversations while doing sports, and I really love this time we spend together. At some point, about 5 miles in we got passed by a really fast guy and something came over me and I had to go chase him. I did not catch him but it was fun to go really fast (like 21-22 mph pace, which for me is fast). At the end of the path, I waited for Chris and we decided to ride with our ipods (I guess 5 miles is enough even for "the best conversations" that one can have with a partner, after having been married for 9 years). I typically ride with podcasts, but I had just put together a playlist for an upcoming 1/2 marathon, and I decided to listen to it. Wow. I went flying, completely absorbed by the music. Each song held a memory of some old boyfriend, time in my life, party, etc and before I knew it I was home and the ride was over (average for 15 miles was 21.7mph including 2 large hills, which for me is super fast). I am really excited about the 1/2 now. I have never raced with music before. I always felt that I needed to focus on the actual running (the "associative theory"). However, I am going to try to race with music in 2 weeks, and see what happens, see whether I am going to have a similar experience to the ride. Although part of me dislikes being "dependent" on something (e.g. an ipod) I think I can learn a lot from this experience. Perhaps being a dissociative runner may work better for me in the long ...run(s).