Recovering, assessing and a 5K TT

Anyone who reads this blog should know that any time I don't post for a while I am either injured (knock on wood, not the case this time) or conflicted (about running!). After the winter season that was not - due to 2 races that were cancelled - I knew I had to rest a bit. I had a few niggles that needed to go away. I also had a mind that did not want to try anymore. I took about 2 weeks off of training. I ran almost daily but as long as I wanted, with no structure and no watch. I let go. I thought things over. I listened to podcasts. I listened to my thoughts. I thought about choices, priorities, goals, desires, you know, the big things. Here is the scoop. This will never be one of those "open book" blogs. I censor myself here for various reasons, most important being that I want to create happy memories. I believe that we create our own memories in many different ways - how we think, what we do, and also what we choose to write about. This may not be for everyone, but it is for me. I want to look back at this public journal years from now and remember the good runs, the races, the beautiful runs. I want to put a positive spin on everything in my life, and I want to train my mind to remember the positives.

Lately I have been doing some "happy running". Last week I did a 5K TT in 20:09. It was very controlled, not all out, with a very slow first mile bc I had not done any 5K specific training in many many months. Then I went to the track twice. Today I ran another 5K TT, on the track in 18:28:59, 5:56 pace. It was hard. I vomited at the end (not as much as I did on Monday during the 3x1mile @ 5:45). I was happy. I wanted to break 19 in the 5K for so long. Although this is not an official time, and the track is much faster than the road, today I did not care. Today I felt strong. And many hours later my legs feel strong and happy, niggle free. The rest of me is exhausted, as I usually am at the end of a full day.

More happy will follow tomorrow. My good friend, one of the special ones who "gets me" is coming to Boston for a few days. Then Saturday another friend, quite an opposite to myself in some sense, but one very, very close to my heart is coming over again. It's been too long since I've seen them both and I can't wait. Then Monday I get to watch the Boston marathon. I am happy I am not running it this year. I am nervous for a couple of truly inspirational runner that are close to my heart, and can't wait to see them run strong on Monday.

Here is to my favorite Boston Marathon 2013 runners; Katie, Tia, Amanda, Robin, Kristina...and everyone else I might have forgotten. The chorus is for you!

The process

At the beginning of this training cycle, some 18-20 weeks ago, I made a pact with myself that I will work hard not to get attached to a race outcome. I wanted to make sure I enjoyed the process, I kept my priorities in check and I did not make sacrifices for my training (e.g. I stayed up late with friends Friday nights, I did not skip on life events due to my running schedule, etc). This is a different strategy than I have employed in the past. It was nothing to brisk, but rather a process of growth (for me) from my early years of racing 2009-2011, when at times I was fused with training.

This training cycle has gone amazingly well for me. I have seen myself get faster than I have ever been.  Although not attached to training, I have worked harder than ever before. My body has been able to handle more quality than ever before. I did not get injured. I made the correct call on 3 niggles - knee pain, ball of foot pain and back pain - and ran through them and watched them disappear. I have also learned valuable lessons about my body, and have put a lot of thought into where I want my running to go. It has become clear to me that although my musculoskeletal system can handle a ton of work, my hormonal and nervous systems get tired after about 18 weeks. This is something new for me, which I first noticed last year. In the past, I was able to run hard year round (though the hard at that time is the moderate to easy now).

So where am I now? My second half marathon this winter got cancelled. When I first heard the news, I felt disappointment, but it was pretty easy to move on, and honestly felt relief that I could immediately go run hard. Taper is difficult for me. My body likes homeostasis and when I decrease miles by 50% on the last week of taper, things become challenging. The run yesterday was a bliss, even though it was on the TM.

Yesterday I watched on FB people posting negative comments about the race cancellation and the RD and I smiled. I got that. I was there in the past. And it felt good not to be, to be able to move on and enjoy my day, to be able to sit with the uncertainty of whether the race will get rescheduled and when, whether I have already peaked and might not be able to have the race that I could have had, whether I would have to sit through another dreaded taper again.

I look at my 7 year old who is now figuring out emotions. He is learning about disappointment on the small scale. He is completely attached to outcomes. He often tells me that "this is not fair". I help him through, hold him, and when he is out of his 'stress response' I whisper in his ear: "Sweety, life is not fair. Things don't always happen for a reason", and then I take him on an imaginary waterslide and watch his little face turn into a smile.

So there it goes...an training cycle with little to show for, objectively (for now), but a full load of experiences and growth! I'll take it! And now I go run....

Tapering again

After the race that did not happen, I pushed again for a few days trying to make up for the fitness boost that I was planning to get from my first half marathon. On Saturday I ran Fresh Pond again after 4 hard miles, and experienced the benefits of having faster women around to push me. On Monday I I ran a great 5x2K @ 10K pace. On Tuesday I ran my fastest progression of this training cycle and today I ran my last quality workout, 2x15 min @ 10K pace. My legs are tired for sure, not sore, just tired and tight. I like this feeling as it gives me some tangible proof of hard work. There is a sense of relief that comes from knowing that I don't have any real hard workouts left. I have been dreading some of my hard runs lately (I can say this now because they are all done and in the bank). This is always a sign for me that I have gotten close to my limit. It is a nice feeling to have, because I can tell myself that I worked as hard as I could, and the voice inside my head that says things like you could have done that split a little faster, etc, is getting silenced.

I spent some time comparing my training this year with my training for my last HM in March 2011. I am MUCH faster. I have done MORE miles, MORE quality. I can't even compare really how much stronger I am on paper at this point. Sure, in 2011 I was into triathlons so I used to bike a lot of hours a week and swim a few times as well in addition to running, but if we think of specific running fitness, I am a much better runner now.

I don't know what this all means. Honestly, I don't know what my HM pace is. I will figure that one out as I run. I have a bit of a range in my head, but the race conditions, course (it has changed since 2011 and there are about 6 hills, with 3 of them in miles 9, 10 and 11) and the state of my legs will be the deciding factors. Regardless of what happens, I have thoroughly enjoyed the journey of the last 16 weeks. I am excited to switch things up after this race, rest a bit, go back to the gym for some strength training and some spinning, enjoy some spring and summer trail running, and then see if my mind is still set on running the Baystate marathon in the fall!

Things are changing for sure, but the feeling of accomplishment and pure joy I get at the end of a hard run is a constant that I know I will always cherish it.

Good luck to all the runners racing this weekend! I am SO excited thinking about all the great races ahead, and will be stalking you on Saturday and Sunday!

Catching up!

The past couple of weeks have been awesome training wise. I ran 65 and 60 miles, suffered through some treadmill induced soreness and had a major fall in the middle of a tempo run on a turn on an icy spot, which led immediately to a bloody knee and more recently to some back pain (grr!! and maybe not even related). Speaking of pain, my R foot has also been giving me a bit of grief lately; luckily the pain is on the bottom of the foot and caused by some kind of ligament inflammation, not the bone (phew!). At this point, the back is more of an issue, although truth be told, I will not take a break for these little niggles.

I also have a little race on Sunday. Except that the race might not happen.

"Currently the race is planned to go on. However we are watching the weather carefully and we estimate that it is a 10% chance the race will be held. and a 90% likelyhood it will be cancelled.

We will post the final decision as early as possible - Our goal is to post the decision by mid-day Friday, but reserve the right to hold off until Sunday 5AM in case the weather forecast changes. (very low probability of that)". 

HA?
 I've tapered this week and ran only 30 miles thus far, mostly easy.  The snow is supposed to hit on Saturday afternoon so I should be able to have a Fresh Pond race on Saturday morning! In 2 weeks I am scheduled to run another HM, so all is well really. And truth be told, I needed a bit of a break:) I scheduled a massage tomorrow in hope of getting some relief for the back, but I know that back pain is something that kinda takes its time. I've been here before:)

In other news, vacation week is almost over for my son and my husband. Lots of adventures for them and a bit of jealousy on my part, ha! Chris and I got to enjoy a nice dinner out and some blue grass music last night. I may or may not have had my phone confiscated while I was checking emails under the table during sets:) Chris's drumming band is playing a "real gig" on March 1st and am so excited to go hear him play. So proud of him for picking up drumming a year ago, sticking to it and having a ton of fun in the process. Plus, as much as I love him, I also love a Thursday night all alone in the house. As much as I love racing, I think I am ready for another "high", particularly as I approach 40 and my body is starting to screech! We shall see what will come to me! Trail running seems very very attractive! Raina, if only you lived closer:)

Sore back from shoveling, sore legs from TM running, and making things work out

I woke up this morning and everything hurt: back, arms, neck, shoulders, quads, hamstrings, calves! What???? What's going on?

Most of you probably know that we've got hit with a blizzard this past weekend. I am one of the weird people who loves blizzards. I love watching people's reactions, the lines in the grocery stores (hm, do you really need all that meat and icecream if you are concerned about losing power? how about some canned goods?), the snow, the enthusiasm expressed by kids, and, I confess, the anxiety about the car that my hubby experiences when the weather gets bad (mean, I know!).

On Saturday I had 14 miles planned. The gym was closed. At 11 am a snowplow finally made it up a hill and onto my street. I was antsy. I was cranky. Petru was busy making tunnels in the snow with his friends. I shoveled for about 1 hour and made a path to the street. Then Chris sent me out for a run. I reluctantly left thinking I might walk/run for 30 min or so. I ended up running 10 miles @ maybe 7:40 pace in the middle of the perfectly plowed main road (driving was banned on Saturday!). The wind was evil, 30MPH with 50MPH gusts, so 5 miles felt like running uphill, but the next 5 miles were effortless. I am estimating the pace here because I did not wear a watch. I felt much happier when I was done, and managed a bit of backyard sledding too!

On Sunday the driving ban was lifted and I knew there would be no way I could run on the narrow roads. Plus, I wanted to do a bit of quality running. So, I went to the gym. I decided to do 3x5K by HR, since I know TMs are different from the road. I ran the intervals @ 6:46, 6:40 and 6:35, but ended up with one hand on the rail most of the time for balance. I know that is "bad", but it was really the only way for me, because otherwise I would oscillate from touching the front of the TM band to almost being spilled out of the TM. My HR was around my planned HM HR, so I am fine with the run. Then more sledding in the afternoon:)

Back to this morning....sore, sore, sore. I can't bend down (that's the pain from shoveling). My quads in particular are super sore. Oh, and I had to run another session on the TM. Today I had 5x2K @ 10K pace, as part of a 10 mile run. I decided on the pace based on HR, and pushed the last 2 a bit to. For some reason the 2Ks (6:22 to 6:10 pace for the last one) seemed easier to me that then 5K intervals, even though the pace was faster. Hmmm, now I can barely walk. Ha!

This brings me to my conclusion that TM running is different than road running. Dahhh!I mean, last Monday I ran 5x1K @ 5:35-5:50 on the road and did not even feel the run the next day. I ran a nice progression immediately the next day and I was fine. I read that the TM overworks the quads and does not engage the hamstrings but my quads and my hamstrings are now sore. Still, I have to say that I agree now that running intervals on the TM is easier mentally and I might incorporate it in the future.

I am not worried, of course. I will be fine, and perhaps this new training stimulus will help. The bike path is now plowed and I am hoping that the rain that we are getting now is not going to make it more appropriate for skating than for running. I have my last important run on Thursday morning and would really like to be able to do it outside! Will see!

My mental strategy

It's typical for me to start getting less excited about hard runs during the last few weeks before a race. I don't typically write or talk about this issue, because I feel like the more I talk about it, the more it becomes reality, and so I like to use little tricks instead to move along.

 I train hard, and my life, although very good, is rather complex as I work FT and parent FT. As my body gets fitter, I get more tired. It is a mostly happy tradeoff, one that I embrace and consider a normal part of training. Since I want to keep my running grounded, and not give it too much focus - because lets face it, family, work, friends will always take precedence to running for me - I don't make "sacrifices" like giving up on life stuff for more sleep, and so my body gets perhaps a bit more tired than it would on say 10 hours/night, no outside home work, you get the idea! To each her own, and this is what I do!

I am at "that" point in training right now. For today, my plan (on paper) was to run 15 miles, with 5 @ 7, and then the Fresh Pond 5 miler at a pace faster than last week's (6:39), then run easy back home. This morning I found myself dilly dallying and knew that I needed to mentally trick myself into getting out the door. So, I told myself that I have to go run the first 5 miles faster than last week (7:23), and that I can do only one loop (2.5) of the race if I wanted to. This lowered pressure got me out the door and once I started running, my mind immediately went into "well, lets see how 7 feels", except that in order to assure a 7 pace I had to go a bit faster because what if I get tired and have to slow down. The results was 5 miles @ 6:45 pace. There were 2 stops at lights, but they did not bother me. I felt OK, not super, but OK.

Once I got to Fresh Pond I had to wait about 5 minutes before the race started. My plan was to start easy, and stop after one loop if I wanted (because I had already done 5 hard miles). Lots of people showed up today and the path was cleared. We started and I felt the headwind, so decided to tuck behind the second pack from the front. They were moving @ 6:35 and although I felt that might be a bit too fast, I decided to keep it there with them. I hung out for 1 mile, but then they slowed down and I moved up, trying to catch one guy in front of me so I could draft him. The first pack was long gone, and I thought those were all the 2.5 mile racers. I caught and passed the guy on the hill at mile 2, and I was on my own thereafter. I felt pretty good so went for the second lap, telling myself that I could slow down if I needed to. At mile 3.5 I saw a blue jacket in front of me, a woman. I started focusing on her and almost caught her, making my last mile with a big hill a 6:26. So 6:32 pace for 4.95 miles. Interestingly, my HR for last mile got into the 190s, which is something I rarely see outside of a 5K, but  this HR did not seem that uncomfortable to me, showing that my LT has been improving, and I have the ability to  reach and hold a higher HR for a longer amount of time. This is good. I was super happy to have more people at the race, and have a woman who was faster than me who I could use as a rabbit.

After the race I changed my plan again, and decided that I would do a few 800ms back home. I ended up doing 6 of them for an average of 6:42 for 3 miles. Now, I have no delusions here and  I know those 6x800 are not equivalent to 3 continuous miles, and the 10-30 secs rest intervals in between helped a ton. I made this decision to rest primarily because of where I am in training right now. While my body is strong and I do not have any niggles, I am tired, my immunity is surely lowered, and I wanted to protect my body from surges in cortisol, while assuring that my legs would get stronger and prepared to run 13.1 hard miles in 3 weeks.

So this is the story of how Ana-Maria went from not really wanted to run hard today, to having a run that evolved from meh to great to super (for ME). This was a run done after many weeks of 65-70 miles, a 31 day streak averaging 10+ miles/day, a last week that included intervals (4x1 mile @ 5:55-6:04), tempo (3x10 min @ 6:15-6:20), and a moderate progression (7:23) along with 5 other 30 minute runs. I am hoping that with a nice taper, these legs and this mind will be able to run a strong winter race! We shall see:)

Week in review and a few other things

The weather in New England has been brutal this week. I love winter running and cold weather, but running in -10-20 degrees (due to wind chill) has required a great deal of preparation. Sure, I can always choose the treadmill, but I dislike it so much that I will do anything to avoid it.

This week was a planned recovery week. It did not end up being a recovery week per se, but I made myself cut down my miles to 65. I also replaced my typical moderate progression run on Tuesday with an easy run. I did not feel I needed more recovery, because overall I feel great. My knee has been fine (untaped) for about 2 weeks now, and I have no niggles or concerns about my body. Sure, my legs are tired, but it is the kind of tired that you are supposed to feel when running hard, the kind of tired that leads to adaptation...at least this is what I tell myself:)

So here are the details:

Monday: 
a.m. 8.5 miles @ 6:50 with 8x 3 min @ 5:50-6:10 on 1 min rest (full stop and walk). These were supposed to be done @ 10K pace, but I decided that I would benefit from a bit more actual speed and after the first couple @ 6:10, I pushed the pace a bit and allowed myself to walk for recovery. Competitor running had a nice article this past week about how walking for recovery leads to similar physiological adaptations as easy running for recovery (though it is so much easier for me to walk than run for recovery, ha!). These were hard for me. Funny how I used to love intervals because I was used to them, and now I hate them and really like tempos (which I used to hate) because I am doing a lot of tempo work. Ha!

p.m. 3.5 miles recovery very easy no watch.

Tuesday:
p.m. 10 miles easy with 1.5 mile uphill. No watch. Very cold!

Wednesday:
a.m. 6 miles easy on trails with no watch. Felt good so did 10x10 secs hill sprints. Very cold, did not think I would make it the entire way.

Thursday:
a.m. 10 miles @ 7:06 as progression, first 5 miles MAF+5, last 5 miles building up to MAF+10, +15 and all out last mile. Last 5 miles were sub 7 with last mile 6:13 HR 186 (my 5 K HR). Very cold and windy. Water bottles froze so had no water. My neck warmer got wet from my breathing and froze. Crazy temps!

p.m. 3.5 miles recovery no watch. Legs felt pretty good so ended up running faster than usual, no watch though.

Friday
p.m. 4 miles recovery. Felt great so added 5x20 secs strides.

Saturday
a.m 14.5 miles. Thirteen miles @ 7:05 like this: first 5 miles @ 7:25 to the Fresh Pond race; five minute bathroom stop before the race started; race: 4.95 miles in 33:09 6:41; 5 minute or so rest, then 3 miles @ 7:25. Then 1.5 mile straight uphill with no watch (made a deal with myself to take this route but allow myself to go super slow, which I did, like 9 minute miles or slower probably).

Sunday:
4.5 miles planned, no watch, on trails.

I feel pretty good about this week. My fitness in up there. This is the first time I did the Fresh Pond race with the hills added on, and, as much as I hated them, I reminded myself that they will make me stronger. The race was more of a TT, as I ran alone the entire time (only person who did the 2 loops, I think), and considering the conditions and the unstable footing (packed snow), I ran very well. I also did not push as hard as I could have, which is a theme for this training cycle. I am not pushing my workouts all out anymore, except in the last few minutes of the last interval or mile of a tempo. Not sure if this is fear of suffering or being smart, but since I am certainly getting faster, I'll keep doing what I am doing.

Four more weeks until my first half marathon. Two or 3 more Fresh Pond races to get myself used to being in a ~ race situation again. Super excited to see a huge breakthrough at a certain race tomorrow, by a certain someone who is going to surprise everyone who does not check her daily mile with her performances this year!